It’s that time again. For you Oregonians, I hope you have already taken the opportunity to walk your ballot to the mailbox (like, by last Friday). If you haven’t, the drop-boxes are open until 8pm today. There’s one at Pioneer Courthouse Square.

For you non-Oregonians (and especially those in key states), today’s your day! As the Republicans are all atwitter about voting fraud, I suggest you test their limits of excitation by rousing every illegal immigrant, felon, zoo animal and dead person you know and take them all down to your friendly local polling place. There you can all vote, I suggest, several times. This is the only way to ensure that the paper-trail-less e-voting machines are guaranteed to record your vote correctly at least once.

Then go home, grab a cup of coffee and watch the results come in. If we all vote right, and all goes according to the secret plan, the Democrats will be back in the Hiz-ouse. Maybe even the Siz-nate too. However, I don’t want to count my donkeys before they hatch. We’ll just have to stay tuned.

But, remember, you have to vote first.

PS Please don’t take me seriously. Do vote, but only once. I was just kidding about all that other stuff.